My Twin Friend

In the past weeks our class (Ako Ngatahi) were writing a short story about a video titled “The Present”. It was a story about a boy who got a present and it was a puppy. After he discovered that the puppy only had three legs.

Here is the video, I think that you might enjoy the video and maybe my writing.

“The Present”

W.A.L.T: Write a narrative

Success Criteria

I know I will be successful when….

• The title is suitable for the text.

• The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
• The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
• The resolution explains how the problem was solved.

 

MY TWIN FRIEND

I was playing minecraft on my xbox one. Then my mum came in and put down a box in front of me on the table. I was thinking it could be a new video game that I could play on my xbox one. Then my mum open the blinds and my eyes hurt so badly because the sun was too bright. I said “ Mum shut the blinds please” Then the phone rang. Then my mum pickup the phone and answer it. My mum went upstairs to talk.

Then I opened the box and there was a puppy that barked at me. He was cute. But I saw the puppy Had half a leg. I said “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu” so I drop the puppy and kick it away. I said to myself He cute  no remember He cute no remember. The puppy saw a red ball and he grap it. Then the puppy put down the red ball near my feet I pick it up and throw it away. The ball land in the box. The puppy ran a grab the ball but he got stuck in the box. He tried to get out of the box. He got out of   the box and he grab the ball. He put the ball by my feet again.Then I pick up the ball and my crutches. I like my puppy because it look like my twin brother. Because I had a half a leg that why he look like my twin brother.

I said “mum we going outside” So we played outside with the ball  

  THE END